Postseason baseball will be here tomorrow, and yes, you may have entered the official MLB postseason bracket challenge. But who cares about the team on the field when there are humans in giant furry costumes running around being silly during game?

This is why I will be choosing the winners of the MLB postseason by one criteria and one criteria only: mascots.

Wild Card Round:

Opening up the postseason in Cleveland will be the Guardians and the Rays. Cleveland’s mascot, Slider, is basically just a rip off of the Phillie Phanatic. Unlike his inspiration, he is one of the least popular mascots in sports.

Tampa Bay has three mascots, so for this round, Slider is facing Raymond. Raymond is another fuzzy dude that is suposedly an undiscovered species of dog named “Canus Manta Whatthefluffalus.”

Magenta Fuzzy Guy vs. Blue Fuzzy Guy? I have to go with the blue one. Congrats Tampa you’re headed to the ALDS!

Next up in the Wild Card round is Philadelphia facing St. Louis. Philadelphia has arguably one of the most iconic mascots. His booty can bring it around town any day of the week and he is always up for shenanigans. He is the Phillie Phanatic.

The Phanatic is up against Freebird. Frankly, I am terrified.

This wasn’t even a competition. The Phillie Phanatic is an icon. His shenanigans will be all over the NLCS.

Our third matchup takes place in Toronto where Mariner Moose takes on Ace. Ace is much less terrifying than the bird above.

The Mariner Moose drives an ATV on the warning track during games? Probably sticks to driving after he crashed into the outfield wall in 1995 while being towed behind it on roller skates.

It goes without saying, if BJ Birdy was still the mascot in Toronto, the Blue Jays would be competing in the ALDS. However, that mascot was retired in 1999. So congrats Mr. Moose, you are the winner.

The last matchup of the Wild Card round is San Diego versus the New York Mets. This is an ultimate matchup very early in the postseason. First, let’s start with the Swinging Friar. He’s jovial, bald, and has great style.

One would think this is very hard to compete with, and you would be right. The only problem is, he has to go up against Mr. and Mrs. Met. This is a power couple I would be very scared of if I were you.

Mrs. Met has a secret weapon in her back pocket, and it is the massive dump truck she hauls around. It is because of this, The Mets will be making it to the NLDS.

The divisional round matchups of the MLB Playoffs begin on October 11th. I will be back before then with four more mascot match ups. Until then, I give you some good ‘ol ASS content.