By Sam Reeves
We have seen some questionably stupid calls of Roughing the Passer through the first five weeks of the NFL season. Notable calls in week five included QBs Tom Brady, Derek Carr, and Jared Goff.
Per the NFL, the rule is being reviewed; but is that really going to fix the issue at hand? The NFL understandably must keep the QB safe while also allowing the defense to do its job. It is a very tricky thing to find a good medium. Football is a very physically demanding game, whether you’re getting hit or hitting someone. There are the CTE issues, neck injuries, and spinal injuries that can occur from aggressive hits in the NFL.
Rule changes are never really met with applause, but gosh darnit, I am going to try.
In this article I suggest three new ways to protect the QB while letting the defense put pressure on and hit the QB without getting flagged.
My first way is to give the defenders taser guns. However, the defense only gets four of them, and they can only be used on the QB when he’s dropping back. At no point if the QB crosses the line of scrimmage can the tasers be used. For example, if you are rushing the QB and are in range to zap him, it is a sack. A little inhumane? Maybe. Do I care? Absolutely not, because I wouldn’t be the one getting tasered. DON’T TASE ME BRO!
My next idea is to have a forcefield ring around the QB. It will be like a tripwire kind of thing and if a defender crosses the line a big paint splat will go off and the QB is ruled down. This one there is no physical contact and it is stupid. Two things that are a good combination for football, to the casual viewer anyway. The ref has to be keen on watching for the paint splat though. They don’t want to mistake it for a grass stain or field paint. This one may be tough in execution, but again I’m an idea man. I will leave the implementation to those responsible for that.
Finally the third idea to protect the QB is quasi-similar to idea number two. Keep the forcefield belt, but instead of a paint splatter, a little alarm plays and the defender and the QB kiss. Now, the defender will still have to lay the QB down, but gently onto a pillow and tuck them in with a blanket. We don’t want any romance being carried away here and ending in a tumble and subsequent injury. This is a sweet way to keep the QB safe and to bring a beautiful element to a violent game. The alarm is going to have to be loud enough so that it’s heard over the crowd noise in the stadiums.
Again, I’m an idea man, not an implementationist. Wow I just made up a word. You’re welcome to use it as long as you give me full credit because I seek constant validation.
Let’s keep the game fun and safe for everyone involved. I mean, I would kill to watch football be played in those bubble suits and watch dudes try to murder each other. That would be appointment viewing, though the head shaking could still cause concussions and neck issues. We don’t want that. Listen to these ideas, NFL safety committee, and get your specialists on it. It will be worth it in the long run for the sport.
As always thank you for reading and stay tuned for more nonsense.
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