By Sam Reeves

During the Bulls victory over the Indiana Pacers on 10/26, NBC Sports Chicago analyst Will Perdue and temporary host of Bulls pre- and post-game Leila Rahimi deemed that Andre Drummond and Goran Dragić need a nickname.

The tandem of Drummond and Dragić have gelled together quite well since both being signed as free agents this off-season. They have a good two-man game working and that is the cause for the nickname discussion. Leila and Will tried “Shake and Bake” which is just a ripoff from Talladega Nights. To be fair, they weren’t sold on that nickname, but they needed a starting point.

I asked our staff here at ASS to brainstorm some nickname ideas. They provided the following at the time of this being written: Gorandre, Dre-Gic, Doctor Doctor, Andre the Dragic, Drag n Drum, My Dinner with Gorandre, My Date with Dragic’s Drummond, The Andre Drummond Drag Show, Drummond my Dragic, Andre’s Drag Story Time, Goran a Drumdred Miles, Diners Drummonds and Dragic, How to Drum Your Dragic. That last one is definitely able to be misconstrued as a sexual act, but hey we don’t know how close they are.

I decided in my head to pull some quotes from the show New Girl on what nicknames to use. These were both featured in arguably the best episode in the show simply titled: “Prince.” You can find the synopsis on IMDB, but basically the cast of the show end up at a party at Prince’s LA home. The ladies were invited and the guys weren’t, so naturally the guys try to sneak in. In college two of the guys used to sneak into parties using a bit they called “Fire and Ice.”

The other two guys in the episode had to come up with their own scheme, and Nick Miller came up with the codename: Ham and Cheese. Just outstanding to come up with that right on the spot. That is kind of how this blog is going to go. I am going to think of two things and put them together and explain why that would work. I am sorry in advance for the stupidity that is about to happen. (Not really.)

First nickname idea: Double D. Seeing as both of their last names start with the letter D, it’s very simple and tasteful. I can hear Stacey King yelling “There’s the Double D baby! You can’t stop the Double D!” It would be glorious, but borderline with the FCC I’m sure. It’s lazy to just use letters like that, but it is the first attempt so cut me some slack.

The next nickname idea I have is Drummonds N Dragics. Loosely based off of Dungeons N Dragons. Another one of our staff members, Al, came up with the idea the exact same time I typed this. So this could be fate for the duo. It makes sense as Goran Dragić’s nickname is Dragon. You can make a bad joke about Drummond’s defense being like a dungeon. Only if he is defending well I guess. This seems to be the front runner amongst the ASS staff. That felt weird to type and I liked it.

I don’t like to drag out these blogs, as the attention span of your average reader (and writer) is “oh look squirrel.” Saying that, here is my final nomination for a nickname: Drag and Drum Roll. It’s like the pick n’ roll, but for these two specifically. Yes, I am aware that I cut letters off of their last names, it’s lazy and I am very much aware of that. Think about it though, as soon as you see Drummond set a screen you know what’s about to happen. It is going to be a roll to the basket at least 80% of the time. It’s like a before and after on Wheel of Fortune. Is it original? Absolutely not. Do I still ask myself easy questions so I know the answers? Always.

I fully expect a real nickname to be invented by someone more creative than myself. I just wanted to have some fun and give it my best shot, with the help of our team here at All Sports Scene. We truly appreciate those who take the time out of their day to read our silly blogs and view our content. We are going to get weirder as time moves on, so as the great Steve Stone would say: “Either enjoy the ride or get off of it.”