By Just Roxy

Don’t let his cute face fool you-he could be a cold-blooded killer if he wanted to be.

Benjamin T. Bull has had a historic run in the NBA, spanning over 50 years, and was the first mascot to enter the league. He has seen many mascots come and go, yet still, he remains as one of the most iconic mascots of all time. Looking at his competitors, Benny the Bull could handle any mascot swiftly in a battle to the death. Let’s break this down.

To paint the picture, Benny stands at a monstrous 6’6″ and weighs almost 400 lbs. While tinier on the scale of Bulls, his ability to be quick and nimble make up for this. Make no mistake, the fluffy red giant is capable of whatever he wants.

We have four teams right off the bat that are so scared of Benny that they don’t even bother having a mascot: the Brooklyn Nets, Golden State Warriors, Los Angles Lakers, and New York Knicks. It’s clearly for their benefit, but can you blame them?

Next we have your “Why Bother Trying, the Death Would be Swift” teams. To me this is Boston with Lucky the Leprechaun (an actual human being so they stand absolutely no chance), Charlotte with Hugo the Hornet, Philadelphia with Franklin the…fuzzy blue dog(?), and Portland’s Blaze the Trail Cat. Given their lack of size and strength, this fight would not be pretty.

Next we have the “Not as Quick but Quick Enough” category. To me these are mascots that wouldn’t survive much longer than those from the previous group, but would put up a bit more of a fight. We have Moon Dog from Cleveland, Champ from Dallas, Hooper from Detroit, Boomer from Indianapolis, Bango from Milwaukee, and G-Wiz from Washington. They just don’t possess the strength and tenacity that our boy Benny does.

Next up we have the “Will Probably Take Some Effort but Shouldn’t be Too Difficult” group. This group includes Harry the Hawk from Atlanta, Clutch the Bear from Houston, Chuck the Condor from Los Angeles, Burnie from Miami, Crunch from Minnesota, Pierre from New Orleans, and Coyote from San Antonio. I figured our flighted friends would give Benny a bit of a challenge, Coyote has major Wile E. vibes, and Burnie is a whole different story but Benny has so much drip he can put out that flame no problem.

Our last mascots are the “Oh Shit, This Might Actually be a Challenge” group. Naturally, these are strong and fierce foes that would require Benny to bring out all the stops. This includes Rocky from Denver, Grizz from Memphis, Rumble from Oklahoma City, Stuff from Orlando, Go from Phoenix, Slamson from Sacramento, and Jazz Bear from Utah. Now I know Stuff doesn’t look like much, but he’s still a dragon that can probably breathe fire so I couldn’t count him out. In the end, I’m confident Benny could slay these creatures with how strong and handsome he is, but they would still put up a great fight.

Let us know how our picks stack up!