By Sam Reeves

Hello there readers of ASS content! If you are reading this you may need help protecting yourself from the worst time of year: Fantasy Football, gambling, and annoying commercial season.

I am quite aware that gambling is an all-around season. However, during football season, both college and NFL, it’s up to an eight on the Richter Scale for social media and TV commercial annoyance. Your social media timeline is about to be bombarded with fantasy draft screenshots, parlay screenshots, and people asking who to start/bench this week.

Don’t get me wrong, I partake in both sports betting and fantasy football, but I have not made it my whole personality for five months.

Fantasy football can be a lot of fun and keep you invested in more than just the team you root for. You’re looking at good matchups for your players, keeping up on scores, and hoping your opponent’s players are having a rough week. You do not, however, need to post who you need to do well or who needs to do poorly throughout the day. Guess what? It is still going to happen anyway.

It’s not just fantasy football that is going to blow up your timelines over the next few months. Commercials are going to be replayed over and over again, in the same time slots, for a long time. It will start off as fun and maybe have a good meme run! Then it will inevitably turn to shit and you will want to smash your TV like your team just lost heartbreakingly.

We can recall the dilly dilly Bud Light commercial that overtook social media for a solid year plus. #Ad. Every year a commercial comes out that drives everyone crazy eventually. I, for one, cannot wait for it.

Not only will you get more commercials from PointsBet, FanDuel, Draft Kings, BetRivers (in some areas), BetMGM, and Caesar’s Sportsbook, you’re also going to get tweets from them about all the damn bets they can show.

It is going to kill your happiness. Mostly because you are going to fall under their spell and maybe bet a little bit. Then maybe a little bit more. Oh now you can’t stop, can you? You’re addicted. You’ve lost over $1,000 in two days. They have you right where they want you. Then they give you a commercial with the Mannings and you’re like meh. Now you no longer want to bet on sports because you realize you can’t afford it. Don’t fall for the free bets to get you hooked back on it. The advertising for sports gambling is here to control you.

College football is also here and the worst things are going to be found out about people you are mutual with. Sports betting is going to show the worst people you know winning money because life isn’t fair.

There are good things about this time of year, however.

Chili is back on the menu, even if it destroys my insides regularly. It’s hoodie season too, which is always cozy. Halloween for us basic witches amirite?!

These can all help be an escape from the mothership that is the NFL propaganda. Don’t get it twisted, watch the games and enjoy them. Just be wary of the advertising.

So just know, there is some good with all this bad. May your light shine brightest in the darkest of days.