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MLB Sunday Lowlights

News you do want to miss.

By: Celeste Spaghetti

This week was full of weird gaffs and objectively terrible news in MLB. So much so that we couldn’t narrow it down to just five lowlights.

*Editor’s Note: This article discusses domestic violence. Please consider donating to the National Domestic Violence Hotline here.

Honorable Mention: Dave Raymond Word Vomit

You know that one guy that commits too much to the bit and drives the joke into the ground? That was Rangers’ play-by-play announcer Dave Raymond this week, whose attempt at sarcasm about Astros’ José Altuve’s resurgence flatlined for far too long. Sometimes you just have to know when to shut up.

8. Anthony Rendon’t Speak English

Anthony Rendon, whose career has been plagued with injuries, suffered a bone bruise on July 4 and has not played since. Asked about the status of his injury, he told reporters, “No habla inglés today,” which, if you don’t know Spanish, translates to, “Fuck off.”

7. Pin the Ball on the Catcher

KC Royals’ pitcher Cole Ragans struggled to place the ball anywhere near the orbit of catcher Salvador Pérez late in the sixth inning against Toronto. Looks like the Blue Jays could use a lesson in keeping the mound dry from the Sodfather.

6. Ball Boy Blooper

The poor Miami Marlins’ ball boy did not realize this ball hit by Freddie Freeman was fair, so he scooped it up and chucked it into the stands. According to our resident rule expert, this results in a ground rule double.

Bonus footage: Freddie Freeman shakin’ it.

5. White Sox Balk-Off

Maybe one day this godforsaken team won’t make the Sunday lowlights.

4. Base Path Gerrymandering

It makes sense when most MLB umpires seem to be the same demographic as most state legislators.

3. Cutch Spoke Too Soon

Pirates’ Andrew McCutchen will miss the rest of the season with a partial Achilles’ tear. The Pirates, who started out the year strong, are now 13.5 games behind in the NL Central. While this loss won’t make or break the season, our hearts still go out to Pittsburgh.

2. Lucas Giolito Makes History Again (Bad)

Yeah, it speaks for itself.

1. Julio Urías Gets Arrested (Again)

Dodgers’ pitcher Julio Urías was arrested for the second time in four years on domestic violence charges. Hey, let’s maybe get this schmuck out of the league.

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