By Sam Reeves

You don’t know how much I think about you. You don’t know how much I wish you were ok. You’re a knee, you don’t know anything.

You stupid knee, going and getting so jacked up that a doctor can’t even say what’s wrong with it. Like, what is this four-time operated-on knee doing to the Chicago Bulls? It is causing them to implode, in a boring and foreseeable way.

This damn left knee broke the brains of Artūras Karnišovas and Marc Eversley. They forgot that they have to build a team to replace what this damn left knee did. They want continuity with an incomplete roster. This damn knee made them forget that they have needs on the roster. This is like Cody Parkey breaking Matt Nagy, but somehow even more boring.

I also blame Nikola Jokić for making us think Artūras Karnišovas would be a good EVP. That was kind of a dick move from a pretty well-respected guy.

You broke the system on top of all of this. Proving that it is incredibly vulnerable and easy to defend without a good playmaker. It is stagnant and predictable, and I hate it. The players can’t decide to go through with a play or just become an iso player. None of these players are going to step up and figure it out.

The easy way out is to blame Billy Donovan; the coach is usually the scapegoat. You can say there is a lack of effort from players who just want out. At the end of the day though, it’s the people who put them together.

Artūras Karnišovas and Marc Eversley tried to build something, and it crumbled pretty damn easily. There are a bunch of shooting guards trying to be point guards. You throw in an undersized small forward, two undersized power forwards, and two centers who are both more deserving of minutes, and baby you got a stew going. Unfortunately, the stew tastes like it was left out overnight and just heated up a little. You still eat it because its what you have but you aren’t feeling very good while you’re eating it.

Zach Lavine and the Chicago Bulls allegedly (don’t sue me, I’m poor) mutually decided he isn’t trying to be here anymore. However, the asking price is going to have to come down and the league knows this. They are going to feast on the “downfall” of AKME’s making. The return will look flashy, but its really just more of that heated up stew. This roster is built for a play-in berth, and the trade they will make will not move the needle at all.

The Bulls’ scale is suffering from erectile dysfunction, which affects many men all over the world. It just can’t get it up for anyone to fully invest. They need to either decide to tear this down completely or keep eating that stew. Why does the stew not just go in the fridge for a bit, maybe give it a day or two? (Disclaimer, I know nothing about stew and how it is stored.)

The Bulls have time to play this out on their terms. They can decide to let Zach just keep playing and maybe showcase him a little, maybe that doesn’t win some games? Ok, try to get as low as you can for a first-round pick. Then when you eventually trade him, you can collect a little more if he’s playing well. It still won’t be much, so we can take some of that stew out of the fridge and warm it up.

The Chicago Bulls are stuck in limbo with this roster. They committed to the wrong players and it is costing them. If this comes back to age terribly, I will laugh, because I will be so owned. Please own me Bulls, I need it. I am down bad for you but not down bad enough to complain to my friends about you.