Category: Random
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MLB Mascot Alignment Chart
From Lawful Good to Chaotic Horny, ASS categorizes all 27 MLB Mascots By: Celeste Everyone is familiar with the classic alignment chart which ranks components of various categories from Lawful Good to Chaotic Evil. If you’re not familiar, you’re stupid, but below is the chart for reference. While watching the chaotic pierogy race at PNC…
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Athlete vs The Media: An Eternal Struggle
By Sam Reeves You’ve all heard about it, you’ve seen the clips, hell maybe you’ve lived it. I am, of course, talking about the ongoing athlete vs. media war. It doesn’t matter the sport, the league, or the athlete: the media interferes at the wrong time, almost regularly. Look, we all have bad days at…
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Chicago Bears Head Coach Candidates That Nobody is Talking About
By Sam Reeves If you haven’t been paying attention or in a coma for some time, you may not have heard that the Chicago Bears made franchise history by firing their head coach, Matt Eberflus, in-season, for the first time in their long history. Yes, it is crazy that it hasn’t happened before. Especially with…
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Holy Schnikes, Batman: The French Are Expressing Themselves Again!
By Sam Reeves This past Friday the Summer Olympics, as is tradition, had its opening ceremonies display. A combination of performance art acts of the home country, the opening ceremonies are often one of the things the world looks forward to the most about the games. The Beijing Olympics in 2008 was one of the…
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Is Being Right About Sports Transactions Important?
By Sam Reeves Well, well, well if it isn’t the old piece of shit who owns this site finally writing something. Yes, I am back. Not better than ever by any means, but back, nonetheless. I decided it was time to bring up this blog that I had been thinking about for a while. With…
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ASS Lands Exclusive Interview with Dekopin “Decoy” Ohtani
International superstar Shohei Ohtani is known for keeping his personal life private. Just this past week, Ohtani announced on Instagram that he had gotten married this off-season, and shared no other details about his new wife other than that she is a “normal Japanese woman.” Luckily, there is one member of the Ohtani family that…
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White Sox Out of Towners Series: Drew Bogs
By: @Chi_rox_ We’re highlighting Sox fans who live all over the country and asking them how they found their roots in White Sox Fandom. Our next guest is Drew Bogs aka @DrewBogs623 Thanks Drew for submitting your responses! Stay tuned for more Q&A from WST!
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White Sox Out of Towners Series: Father Sean
By: @chi_rox_ Our new series! We’re highlighting Sox fans who live all over the country and asking them how they found their roots in White Sox Fandom. First up-Sean aka @sean_janko 1. Where were you born/when did you move out of Chicago (if born here)? 2. When did you become a White Sox fan and…
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Ranking Chicago Sports Teams by their Defcon Level
Chicago Sports are in bad shape, but just how bad are they? By: @chi_rox_ There are eight major league sports teams that call Chicago home (yes, the Red Stars play in Bridgeview-we know but don’t care about technicalities here). With the sheer amount of teams in a major city, one would think we are blessed…
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The Butterfly Effect: June 6, 2016
By Sam Reeves On June 6, 2016, I had surgery to repair a closed ventricle in my brain. The four days leading up to my surgery were hell. I felt like my skull was going to explode. I passed out several times, had horrible pain and blurred vision. I could not do anything for myself.…
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