Category: Uncategorized
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Sorry Grief, It’s Business as Usual
By Sam Reeves Have you ever had to grieve for any reason? Most, if not all of us have, in some shape or form. Grief is not something anyone wants to deal with or remember exists. We want to go on with our lives and forget that anything bad can ever happen. Grief waits for…
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Let the Raccoon Manage
Author: @chi_rox The Sox can barely field a competent team, what’s the worst that can happen. The 2024 Chicago White Sox are absolutely abysmal. Nearly record breaking abysmal as I write this article, they’re 1 loss away from setting the record for the most losses in an MLB season. We all love seeing history be…
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Women Are Ruining Baseball
By Al Wes It is 2024 and there are an alarming number of women breaking into the very manly realm of baseball. It was bad enough when women decided they wanted to be megafans of their teams, but working in MLB? Who would want that to happen? The offseason was a slow one for the…
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Souper Bowl
By: Al The “Big Game” is this weekend and nobody cares if the red and yellow team beats the red and gold team. Here at ASS, we care about good food. Specifically, if you follow me, you will know I care about good soup. Which is why below are some of my favorite go-to soup…
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Twitter Reacts to the Bears’ Coaching Shakeup
By: Celeste Spaghetti (tweet screenshots submitted by ASS staff) CHICAGO – It is never a dull moment to be a Chicago Bears fan (because it’s usually downright depressing), and today was no exception. Earlier today, fans celebrated as news broke that the Bears fired offensive coordinator Luke Getsy, who made a name for himself in…
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What to Make of Chicago Sports in 2024
By Sam Reeves 2023 is gone. 2024 is here. One Chicago team made the playoffs in 2023, and only kind of. I am here to tell you 2024 probably won’t be much better. The outlook for Chicago sports is, in a word, bleak. It’s like a shopping cart with all squeaky wheels and the handle…
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How Henry Kissinger Fixed the Chicago Bulls
By: Celeste Spaghetti & Stoop Kid (@SpaghettiC11/@stoopkiid93) The Chicago Bulls are 6-3 and playing notably better basketball since a mysterious foot injury sidelined superstar Zach LaVine. However, when asked whether the team is playing better because of his absence, his teammates have given a resounding “no”. So what was the catalyst that sparked this recent…
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The Bright Side for the L.A. Chargers
By: Jack Markowitz (@jaquilleoneal04) Last Thursday, many of us watched the Los Angeles Chargers and quarterback Easton Stick fall to the Las Vegas Raiders 21-63. While things may have looked horrible for the Chargers in every part of the game, this wasn’t a total loss. According to my advanced analytics, they actually won the game-especially…
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Hot Stove News: The Five Most Likely Places Yoshinobu Yamamoto Will Sign
By: Celeste Spaghetti (@SpaghettiC11) No hot stove news will come close to the media circus and final announcement of Shohei Ohtani’s decision to sign with the Los Angeles Dodgers. The 10-year, $700 million deal will clearly be the only thing anyone remembers about this off-season. But those in the know are still waiting for a…
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What is Being Overheard at MLB’s Winter Meetings
By Sam Reeves This week kicked off MLB’s patented annual Winter Meetings. Tis the season when the “Hot Stove” tends to start heating up and things move more rapidly. This year, however, feels a little bit different. There is a trade market for a few players out there being reported. There is a bidding war…
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