As part of our March Madness celebration, members of ASS (and some special guests) will be convening to compete in a bracket-style MarioKart 8 Tournament of Champions.

---

THE RULES

1. Seeds were determined not by skill but by the order in which the racers RSVPed to participate in the tournament.
2. 150cc races in versus mode. Normal items, normal com, etc.
3. Single elimination.
4. Racers will complete a randomly selected four-race circuit.
5. Whoever places highest will advance.

---

THE RACERS

#1: Jacki

ASS Contributor, Tournament Czar, Ill-Credentialed Top Seed
Favorite Racer: Pink Gold Peach

#2: Wes

Jacki’s Husband, Literal Ass Poster, Agreed to Let Jacki Host the Tournament at their House
Favorite Racer: Iggy

#3: Jordan

ASS Contributor, Cross-Country Traverser, The Cute One
Favorite Racer: Rosalina

#4: Celeste

ASS Co-Founder/Editor-in-Queef, Leury García Defender, Leader in YouTube Views of “Shrek Is Love/Shrek Is Life”
Favorite Racer: Baby Donkey Kong

#5: Tina

ASS Contributor, Taco Bell Appreciator, Curling Champion
Favorite Racer: Yoshi or Daisy

#6: Jack

ASS Contributor, Sam’s Hair Mentor, Celeste’s Tech Support
Favorite Racer: Roy

#7: Sam

ASS Founder, Misunderstood Bit Guy, Pedestal Stander
Favorite Racer: King Boo

#8: Katelyn

Sam’s Wife, Saint, Angel on Earth
Favorite Racer: Yoshi

#9: Al

ASS Contributor, Bangs Pioneer, Silly Goose
Favorite Racer: Yoshi

#10: Steve

ASS Contributor, A.I. Enthusiast, Everyone’s Favorite
Favorite Racer: Princess Peach

#11: Magnificent Stan

Friend of ASS, Host of Sadistic Penguin’s “Its Getting Drafty In Here,” Kendall Graveman Supporter
Favorite Racer: Waluigi

#12: Brandi

Magnificent Stan’s Wife, Maker of Mugs, Collector of Spooky Things
Favorite Racer: Bowser Jr.

#13: Marj

Friend of ASS, Emo Carmela Soprano, Italian Morticia Addams
Favorite Racer: Yoshi

#14: Roxy

ASS Contributor, Ghost Expert, Rescuer of Beta Fish
Favorite Racer: Waluigi

#15: CPG

Friend of ASS, Host of “Punk Driver,” Vest Owner
Favorite Racer: Donkey Kong

#16: Stoop Kiid/Elsa

ASS Contributor-and-Partner Team, “Jerry Doesn’t Care” Composer, Maybe Nationally Ranked in MarioKart (But Also Maybe Not)
Favorite Racer: Has strategically decided not to share and/or is ignoring my messages

---

THE READER ENGAGEMENT PART

Here’s where it gets really fun! We’d like to invite you, our loyal and very engaged readers, to fill out your own bracket.  If you win, we won’t make fun of you for one (1) calendar day. Here’s how the matchups for the first round shake out:

Send a DM to the ASS Twitter account to submit your brackets!

Thanks for having some fun with us.